Monday, August 11, 2014

A New Perspective

I’m sure this topic has been blogged about a number of times. I’ve seen many video’s about the habit of smart phone usage. How many of us like and share those video’s on Facebook but don’t live it? You know, the ones were one person is quietly sitting while her friends are sitting around the lunch table checking their phones, ignoring her. Very sad. Very sad and yet very true.

My dad hates it. He’ll walk in the room and one of my sisters is on the computer, the other on her phone and mom is on her tablet. He, like many others, misses the face-to-face interaction.

Over the years there have been a few time I have thrown a party and close to no one (or no one at all) shows up. I “sent out” Facebook invites and would invite 40 plus friends and only about 8 or less would show up. I do my best to make the best of things but there has been a couple occasions I felt like no one cared enough to come over. Some may consider me easily offended, and they would be right. I am. But I’m also kind-hearted and sensitive…  In today’s day sensitivity is a sign of weakness and viewed in a negative way. But I don’t look at it like that.

When I was planning my son’s 2nd birthday party I made everything! The cupcakes, the decorations, I even sent out invitations in the mail. Our little house was so full of family and friends we had to start telling people to step outside. It was so much fun!

Now, when I was planning 3 and 4 year old coming up birthday I didn’t go as elaborated but I still had fun planning it. This time I did NOT send out invitations in the mail. I just invited friends and family through Facebook and text messaging. Other than a handful of people, no one came. Don’t get me wrong. It was nice to talk to everyone… My parents and my sister-in-law and her family… But I tried so hard to get people to come. Almost 30 people came to Sam’s 2nd birthday party but only 7 came to Michael and Emily’s birthday. At that moment of feeling like no one liked my family, I realized that people like the “face-to-face” of getting an invitation in the mail. Makes sense, I like it too. So many people, so many of our friends are involved in some form of social networking but we would rather get in invitation in the mail then online. Why? It’s more convenient to just click the mouse a few times and ta-da! You just invited 200 of your closest friends. Whereas mailing invites takes time, energy and money. Could that be why more people would come if they reserved an invite in the mail VS a Facebook invite? Because we take the time to “say” you are important enough to me, come to my party?

Sometimes I think people don’t come to events they’ve been invited to because they see your life online. Maybe they think that conversation would be boring or repetitive? We are taking the “mystery” out of life with posting everything about our life online. People know everything about us yet we want them to come over to talk. Talk about what exactly? That sexy selfie you took that got 100 likes? Your cute new kitty that’s been filling up your timeline? That embarrassing thing your kid said at the store that you just had to share on Facebook? We share all the highlights (and sometime the garbage) of our lives with friends, family and even complete strangers online. Maybe it’s time to take a step (or two) back and look at what you’re doing from a different perspective.


My 17 year old sister is like me in the way I want to be loved. We care about our friends and family and want to spent time with them. Like me, she also gets hurt when no one shows up to a planned party. The other night she planned a fun clothing exchange. She made dinner and everything. No one came. Not even the friends who RSVP’d yes. It saddened my heart to see her hurt by her friends. I’m sure some quickly said yes without thinking or asking mom and dad who ended up saying “no”. Maybe some who said yes, forgot or something “better” came up. I was 17 once and I remember saying yes to things before asking my parents. But I always let my friends know I couldn’t come.

We all get so wrapped up in Facebook, Twitter or Pinterest we didn't even realized 2 hours (or 1 hour or 30 minutes) have gone by. Now my question is; what did you accomplish within those 2 hours? Your butt was on the couch or in a computer chair for 2 hours. Let that sink in. I’m sure you spoke your mind to a complete stranger with a different opinion then yours. I’m sure you now have the perfect wedding planned or the perfect way to decorate or organize your home. I’m sure you laughed at all the funny memes from your favorite TV shows or movies. What about all those fitness pins? Tried any yet? Or do you just keep adding to the board?

Just so you know I am NOT pointing fingers. I do it to. But I’m tired of it. Aren’t you? Sitting around wasting your summer by sitting on your butt pinning pins or watching funny videos… Will this social networking craze calm down? I understand doing it occasionally but all day? No one needs to be on their phone for hours and hours just because their bored. Do something! Try that recipe that made your mouth water when you saw the picture of it. Do a Pinterest craft. How about some organizing? Or a new workout routine! It’s time to get some blood flowing in your body and get that brain a thinkin’! Maybe then we would be more willing to talk to our friends face-to-face. Once we start making an effort perhaps our friends will start to do the same.

I’d say it’s worth a shot! How about you?



Kelsi Rae said...


Ray Angell said...

Great blog post Tiffany. Your call to action is timely!