Every mother has had that
moment in the grocery store when your toddler melts down in a pile of tears and
fit throwing.
Oh how quickly some of us forget…
We get rude looks and mean
comments from complete strangers. Most of which are women… More than likely a
mother herself. Like I said, how quickly some of us forget. (Parents with a “perfect”
kid(s) are almost the meanest)
In this post are a few real
stories that happened to me with my kids, or should I say with my Emily. (If
you have not read my post about Emily, click here to get to know her better)
If you know Emily you know she
is dramatic, passionate, loud and a little on the wild side. To clarify – This
is her personality and I love it! She will do great things. She is just young
and needs guidance. My husband and I are doing our best to guide and raise her
to be the best she can be. People don’t understand this. All they see is an
“out of control” child. They don’t stop to think ‘maybe they are having a bad
day’ or ‘maybe they have a disability’ or even ‘kids will be kids’… Instead
they make rude side comments like “man, she’s difficult” or “Glad she’s not my
kid” or “You sure do have your hands full” or “I can’t believe you let your kid
scream like that” Yes someone confronted me in the store about my daughter
screaming. Emily was crying because I wouldn’t give her what she wanted
(crackers), so she threw a fit. That women who said to my face that I was a bad
mother for letting my kid scream like that, made me cry. I know what I was
doing was right (not giving in) but I didn’t understand how someone could be so
mean to a complete stranger. As I was checking out the cashier saw my tears and
asked what was wrong. I said a lady just yelled at me because my daughter was
crying. She was shocked and gave me a tissue. She told me I was a good mom.
This girl couldn’t have been more than 18 years old and more than likely not a
mother, but she was my savior that day.
Another time we were checking
out and a cashier rudely raised her voice at Emily to get off the cart. Emily
was hanging on the side of the cart. This shocked me. My jaw dropped and I had
no words. Luckily I did not have to check out. My husband did not hear her over
the craziness of the store. I should have complained to a manager but I was
still in shock and didn’t think of it until the next day.
Unfortunately I have even had
family make rude comments about my daughter. Even they don’t fully understand
her... That is the hardest on me. When people I love and care about say
something not only about my mothering ability but my daughter as well, it
hurts. I am not made of stone. I have emotions and I know how to use them and I
use them well (too well sometimes). Most of the time I bite my tongue but my
face will tell you everything you need to know. I don’t believe in hiding my
emotions but on the other hand I don’t like to be mean, so I keep silent. This has
causes others to walk on me.
I can honestly say I am doing the
best I can at being a mom. I love my kids, I don’t spoil them, I play with
them, I teach them things, I sacrifice extra money (and my sanity) and stay
home to be with them, I let them be kids (before I know it they will be grown
up), I encourage imagination, I let them help in the kitchen and I read to
them. I do lose my temper at times and raise my voice, but I don’t let my anger
control me or my actions. I don’t party, I don’t beg for a babysitter to go
have drinks with friends, I don’t give them soda or coffee, I don’t spend hours
on my phone/computer ignoring them, the TV is not on all day and I set a timer
for video games. So when my parenting style gets looked down upon, it hurts. It
hurts a lot. And I’m sure I’m not the only mom out there that feels this way.
I know very well that I am not
(nor are my children) perfect. In fact I am far from it. Sometimes the TV gets
left on for hours… I am not a healthy eating mom and I occasionally feel like
locking myself the bathroom just to escape from the madness. My house is NEVER
clean and most of the time the clean clothes stay in baskets for over a week… My
kids are loud and do a lot of running around. I can’t even tell you how many people
(even other moms) hate this about my kids. Forgive me for letting my kids be
kids! At least I’m teaching them when it’s ok to be loud and when we need to be
quiet.
Sorry… I had a mom-rage moment…
Ha!
Ok, where was I.
Oh yeah! I’m not perfect.
I’ll end with this:
It’s hard being a mom. We have
enough guilt with feeding them greasy fish sticks for lunch, scrabbling out the
door and forgetting one kids coat and another kids shoes and the other kid just
ate an old chicken nugget they found under the car seat, and you realize you
forgot to put a bra on once you pull into the parking spot… The last thing we
need is a stranger giving us a hard time. So before you send off judgmental
looks or rude ‘keep it to yourself’ comments maybe you could instead shoot a
smile their way or give a look of empathy. Words can hurt. Even words with good
intentions, like “she sure is a little firecracker” can come across as hurtful.
So be careful.
Like a cute little bunny once
said “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say nothing at all.”
Blessings to you and thanks
for reading!
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